Christian Counseling in Spokane, Washington
Counseling for Individuals, Couples and Families

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Assertive Communication Skills
"I" Message Format

Resources for Clear Communication

Non-Blameful Description of Simple
Formula
Instructions
The Situation When _____________ Briefly describe the situation without judgment, blame or attack; for example:
When the dirty dishes are left in the den.
My Emotion(s) I feel ______________ Use only one word to describe your emotion in that situation: glad, mad, sad, scared, etc.; for example:
When the dirty dishes are left in the den, I feel angry.
My Reason(s) because ______________ Briefly describe your reason for feeling that way in that situation; for example:
When the dirty dishes are left in the den, I feel angry because the room was clean when I left.
My Vision I'd like ______________ Picture how good the future would look if the gap got closed between what is (the problem) and what is wanted (the goal), then vividly describe what you want:
I'd like to come home to a clean house, be free to converse with you and get close to you.
My Request Will you _____________? Ask for the first step toward making your vision come true:
Will you please pick up your dishes when you finish with them?

Read about the Four Levels of Communication.