Marital Frustrations: a Worksheet

Marriage Resources

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1. Write Frustrating Event
What you do that frustrates me is…

2. Write Feeling Response
And then I feel…

What Actually Happened
You come home late

Emotions
Scared
Angry

4. Write Hidden Fear
To hide my fear or…

3. Write Behavioral Response
And what I do is…

Fear Your Response Hides
That you're dead.
I'll be alone.

What You Actually Do
Pace, scream,
Throw Things

5. Write Hidden Desires
My desires from you are…

Desires
I would like you to be on time.

6. Write Change Requiests
To obtain my desires, I would like to request from you …

A. Behavior Change Request
If you're going to be more than 15 minutes late, call me ½ hour before you're due & tell me 75% of the time.

B. Behavior Change Request
Surprise me and come home early 10% of the time..

C. Behavior Change Request
If you're late & don't call, listen to me when I'm using an "I Message."

Ready to try it yourself? Fill out the Marital Frustrations Worksheet.

Printer-friendly PDF versions: Sample and Worksheet

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Marriage & Relationships • Communication
Personal Development • Anger Management
Crisis • Children's Issues • Miscellaneous


Ray Wm. Smith, Ed.D 9507 N Division Street Suite A Spokane, WA 99218-1556	Phone: (509) 466-6632 Fax: (509) 466-0117