Resources for a Happy Marriage


Healthy Relationships

Unhealthy Relationships

Communication is open, honest sharing; active listening with real interest in others

Isolation: apathy and lack of interest in the others or the topics of communications

Affirmation and validation of feelings, mutual support for one another

Abuse: people get attacked, put down, ridiculed, criticized, even violently attacked

Respect is taught, modeled and expected (for self and others)

Disrespect: no one {and no ideal} is held in esteem or treated with worth

Trust is developed through consistent care for the needs of all concerned

Distrust: people to do not trust each other or themselves, and remain closed and guarded

Interactions are marked with lots of fun, play and a sense of humor

Fear: people are tense, scared, overly sensitive, serious and driven

Responsibility gets divided fairly and changes readily in crisis

Irresponsibility: chores are unevenly and autocratically given, but not always done

Honesty is valued; the differences between right and wrong are taught and lived out

Character: principles and values are not important, taught or shown to one another

Meaningful rituals, traditions, celebrations and beliefs are treasured and taught

Symbols: no meaningful rituals, traditions, celebrations, beliefs, symbols are wanted

People take turns

Power: interactions are out of balance with "might makes right" attitudes

There is a deep, shared faith

Faith: there is not a shared faith at the core of the relationship; maybe not tolerance

Privacy is respected

Privacy: people get invaded and violated in thoughts, feelings, space and body

Service to others is an important priority

Service: there is no reaching out to provide for others; each is self-serving

Meetings together are fostered and conversations are enjoyed

Meetings: talk at the table or councils for problem solving are not done

Leisure time is spent together as often as possible

Time: each pursues leisure and pleasure separately

When stressed, they seek help; afterward, they feel ready to solve another problem

Problems: stress cannot be admitted nor help solicited; later, they fear any more trouble


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Dr. Ray Smith


Ray Wm. Smith, Ed.D
9507 N Division Street Suite A
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