A tool for the Spiritual Head

Gary Smalley and John Trent wrote a book about the five things people need in their families. They compared them to the five things a plant needs: air, light, water, soil and a stable place to grow. Even if you did not receive the blessing from your parents, you can give it to them, and your wife and children. Maybe you can even give the blessing to the man in the mirror.

The five elements of the blessings in the Bible and Hebrew tradition are:

  1. Meaningful, appropriate touch [we've heard plenty about bad touch]
  2. Words spoken out loud [talk the walk - tell them what the hug means]
  3. Words conveying high value [like: I love you, I respect you]
  4. Picturing a future together [some vision, tomorrow or far from now]
  5. A commitment to make that future come true [a promise to keep]

For example: (a pat on the back, then) "I'm proud of you and your grades! I can't wait to see your college graduation! Your mom and I are already saving each month for your tuition."


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Dr. Ray Smith


Ray Wm. Smith, Ed.D
9507 N Division Street Suite A
Spokane, WA 99218-1556

Phone: (509) 466-6632
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