How to Deal with Angry Patients and Friends

I. Do not repress anger. {"Be angry."}
"Be angry, but do not sin; do not let the sun go down on your anger, and give no opportunity to the devil."
Ephesians 4:26
You do not have to defend God, the practice, your coworkers or yourself…
Examples of repression:
Avoiding people (Isolation)
The Silent Treatment (Pouting)
Reneging on Promises (Passive Aggressive)
Sarcasm & Wise Cracks (Abuse)
Self-Pity (Depression)


II. Express anger righteously. {"Do not sin."}
A. Jesus was angry with Simon Peter, money-changers, etc.
B. Examples of expression:
   1. Determination to make changes
   2. Endurance
   3. Forbearance
   4. Righteous fights against illness and immorality
III. Settle anger quickly {"Do not let the sun go down on your anger."}
A. Go to the one angry with you as soon as you know; sandwich your conversation with them between conversations with God: Pray/Go/Pray.
B. Examples of working out:
  V. Validate their right to get angry by encouraging expression. Don't be afraid of emotions; label and accept feelings.
  I. Investigate their anger as a cue to hurtful experiences. What is making them angry? Why does that make them angry?
  E. Express their anger productively by setting limits and using self-disclosure give reasons for setting limits].
  W. Work out their anger creatively by using problem solving skills in terms of options, results and responsibility.

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Dr. Ray Smith


Ray Wm. Smith, Ed.D
9507 N Division Street Suite A
Spokane, WA 99218-1556

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